Going into the conference, I did not fully understand the extent of how much SDLC would change my life. I had been warned that it was a life-changing experience and that I would make friends that would last forever but it was not conceivable to me that I could transform so fully in two and a half days. After having experienced the conference for myself, I can safely say that for me, SDLC changed me in the way I perceive things and the way I act and think on diversity and I owe much to those couple of days.

It would be too difficult to successfully narrate the days I spent in Philly fully as they were packed with activities, workshops, speakers and learning. Therefore, I’m going to focus on one thing in particular that really influenced me on the trip, the people (specifically the kids, all fifteen hundred of them) I know everyone is expecting me to say that the learning aspects were the most memorable or the maybe even the speakers, but in reality I learned more from the other students at the conference. Without the students there, the facilitators would merely be reading a lesson to us about diversity, but with the student input and the comfortable atmosphere, the lessons became much more pertinent and real.

We were sorted into family groups when we first registered for the conference. It was in this family group of about 45 students where I really saw diversity for what it truly is. Our diversity did not need to be pointed out or labeled for it to be recognized. We were not just diverse in a single sense such as difference in solely race or gender, but rather in an array of ways. In our family, the complete respect given by the other students in the room really was the force that pushed the program. I came to terms with some deep issues related to diversity within myself that I had never allowed myself to recognize. The trust I felt in my family members allowed me to speak freely about myself, my school and diversity in general. So although my facilitators were fantastic, the lessons learned were deep cutting, and the experience itself was fantastic, I would have to thank the students more than anyone.

I wish I could have blogged each day to give a more complete report of the trip. My life has honestly changed because of this experience and it is very difficult to express the extent of that change. Maybe if I had blogged each day, the progression of events would clarify just how special this conference was. But for now, you’ll just have to trust me!

Yo no vivo en Puerto Rico,

pero Puerto Rico vive en mí.

SDLC honestly changed my life. I will try my best to describe my experience but honestly it’s something to great to describe. First we were given directions about how the two days will be. The biggest rule is ” respect silence”. At first, I did not understand the purpose of it. How were we supposed to get to know strangers if we should be silent? I learned that you don’t always have to talk to know someone. Also, I learned to think about what we say. Then we were split up into family groups, which are picked randomly. In two days, I met some of the most inspiring, beautiful people. Hearing their stories made me realize that there are other people in the world with the problems just like me. Listening to some of my friend’s stories truly inspired me. One of my friends lives in a bad Brooklyn. He has been held at gunpoint, knifepoint, and stabbed at before. However, you would never guess that anything bad ever happened to him. He took a positive out look on it. He realized that if he been through all these horrible events and is still alive, there must be a reason why and he is determined to find why. This story and many others made me realize that everyone goes through hard times but that is not how we should be judged. We should be looked at not by the events that happened in our life but how react on it.

After our family group we were split into affinity group with is a group by race. When I first head about this I felt like it was segregation. However, they grouped us together so we would have people who understood what we were talking about and feeling. No one can truly stand a culture if they are not that culture. For me, being Puerto Rican at the academy is hard. Not because I’m segregated against, which I’m not at all. It is because I am alone. No one understands what it is to be Puerto Rican. People think that because I have light skin, light brown hair and no accent, it is impossible for me to be Puerto Rican. Quoting a movie our affinity had us watch, “Being Puerto Rican is a state of mind and heart. Yo no vivo en Puerto Rico pero Puerto Rico vive en mí.” These two sentences probably changed my life forever. As much as I liked being Puerto Rican, its hard to always have people question me. However, this trip has helped me find myself. It has made me more confident about who I am truly am. From now on, I can truly say I am Puerto Rican and proud.

The Support One Needs: A Student’s Reflection on the Student Diversity Leadership Conference,

Returning to the Student Diversity Leadership Conference I returned uneasy on how this specific conference would resonate with me and if so how it would in comparison to last years. I was lucky enough to be asked to be a peer facilitator to help take a lead within my “family” group, Mayfair. Within that group of approximately 50 of my peers from around the nation, I loved being able to spend time with my “home” group and really get into detail regarding our experiences, thoughts and solutions regarding diversity in independent schools.

With the commencement ceremony I felt the energy of the whole country, coming together to create a change in our society. We were set with a goal, to work on interdependency, a pun on words regarding Philadelphia’s history regarding the formation of a free country based on the ideals of equality for all looking for it. The opening speaker, Wes Moore started the entire conference with a strong push towards a deep reflection on our own identities. His book, The Other Wes Moore, set the basis for his introduction to this amazing conference. Within the book he fights internally

Identity was a crucial aspect of the conference to me and is important to everyone. At the Student Diversity Leadership Conference we were given the opportunity to meditate and reflect on ourselves and look at the 7 core-cultural identifiers; Gender, Race, Sexual Orientation, Socio-Economic Status, Religion, Ability and Age. Although I generally fall under the “norm” that society has created at SDLC I was able see the differences that make us different and happy and to be proud of it. That is an aspect I wish I would be able to see at MKA more. I would love for everyone to be proud of their roots and characteristics and to embrace them.

Another part of the conference I loved was the opening speaker of the Student portion, Rodney Glasgow who is the image of a true, loving and accepting man. He is a man who had faced tribulations in his own life due to his identity and when he addresses the SDLC attendees an aura of respect and love fills the room. He shows us the unfinished business that we need to complete as the next generation and that we will need to support the others in the room on the way to that goal. He showed all teenagers in that room that we are the change we want to see in the country and world.

Altogether I am both happy and sad that my second year of SDLC is over. I am happy to be ready to bring home all of the great lessons I learned and see them become instilled in the community. I am sad because I will no longer be able to attend this life changing conference. I look forward to begin the road towards an inclusive school in which all people can be proud of their identities and embrace it for it is a part of them.

My experience attending the Student Diversity Leadership Conference (SDLC) taught me a lot. Among other things, it most of all taught me how to be an outsider, because through a lot of the topics discussed at this conference, I had trouble finding a way to relate to the situations of the many minorities, which is not to say that I did not take a lot away from the conference, because I did.

But no, I’m not black, or poor, gay, disabled, a product of a single parent home, or much of anything else that would qualify me as a minority. Frankly, I’m very much so part of the majority in our society in terms of my background, but this did not hinder my learning on the trip, on which the majority of the participants were of some sort of minority back home. So while I switched places, majority to minority, I had to adapt my thinking accordingly, trying to understand from an alternate perspective.

Although I didn’t relate with many students here, I’m still able to take something back with me that is just as important: a sense of understanding and a new perspective on what it’s like to be a minority amongst a group of people with whom you have not much in common with.

From the moment I hesitantly signed up to go to SDLC, I was nervous; not really knowing what I was getting myself into. When I walked in the door, I immediately felt like I didn’t belong, already feeling like an outsider in the atmosphere we were in. However, being the minority if for only a few days gave me some insight on what other minorities feel during every day of their lives.

I was uncomfortable at times, as many minorities often feel each day, but I realized that it is important to step into the shoes of others once in a while, to step out of your comfort zone every so often if only to see that someone else who seems to be living similarly to you may really be living in such a different situation at the core.

So while I will regain my majority status when I return home, I will remember the way I felt when I was the one who struggled finding similarities with other people.

My experience at the Student Diversity Leadership conference was amazing and extremely rich in terms of the issues that were discussed and the intensity with which they were discussed. There were tons of things that moved me touched me about the people that I met at SDLC, but I think the largest unifying factor between the fifteen hundred students, who from one to the next have seemingly nothing in common but the fact that they all attend independent schools in the United States or surrounding area, were all united under the fact that they all wanted to be there. The desire to be there, to work on the behalf of diversity and a better learning environment for all people, regardless of the “core identifiers”, (race, religion, ability, sexual orientation, gender, economic status, and age) made the environment super conducive to completely open discussion. There was no threat of judgment, and this freedom made people open up in amazing ways. It was interesting to me that people were so much more open with complete strangers than with people that they actually knew, and how easily people dove headfirst into the crowd of strangers with open arms.

I entered into the conference on the apprehensive side, because of my feeling that I was not as diverse as some of the people, and because I was afraid of the effect that would have over my ability to participate in discussions. My fears were quickly quenched when in one of the first activities we were given identifiers and we were supposed to stand up when the identifiers. I stood up for a lot of the majority identifiers, white, junior, middle-class female etc. Then I got to thinking that there were probably not many other people, if any, in the room of so many, that identified with the same exact things as I did. The idea then popped into my head that each person in that room if different. Those differences, whether they were seen or unseen, are what made the large group of us so beautiful. I carried this newfound idea of difference and diversity with me throughout the conference whenever I felt that I was on the outside of the diversity that we were discussing.

The other thing that I took with me that I think played a prominent role in the conference was the term spectrum. Almost all of the identifying factors fall on a spectrum and to me that really reinforced the fact that things in our world are not black and white, and in fact I feel that there are not really even “shades of grey”. I think that the spectrums we see based on gender, race, sexual orientation and more are actually comprised of many different colors. Each person that falls at a different point on the spectrum represents a different color, and therefore they are their own person with their own story and reasons for why they find themselves there as opposed to somewhere else. There are also things, specifically the core identifiers, which cannot be defined. For whatever reason, as human beings, we feel like we should put a label on everything. If we resist this urge to label everything and everyone and instead just accept them for who or what they are, many problems will be resolved.

One of the people in my group was wearing a t-shirt with a phrase on it which I think really sums of what I got out of SDLC. With his permission I copied it down into my notebook, as it was something that I really wanted to remember. His shirt read:

Compassion has no color

Integrity has no age

Honesty has no gender

Caring has no ethnicity

Connection has no handicap

Relationships have no degrees

I am very thankful for my experience at the Student Diversity Leadership conference and I am excited to try and bring my experiences, ideas, and our initiatives back to MKA!

Today changed my life. Trying to convey every moment, every feeling, every detail of the day would be far from possible however, this reflection will briefly describe some of the many feelings I felt throughout the trip. Firstly, I would like to start by saying that this trip was not for the feint of heart or the feint of mind. The emotional distress and empathy I felt for these people was heart wrenching and consistently gripping with every conversation and every speech made. From the first keynote speaker to the closing ceremony, I feel that every person felt connected in one indescribable way to another.

After the first incredible speaker, Wes Moore, finished his speech I could tell that if this was the beginning of my journey I was emotionally unprepared for the remainder. The truth of the matter is that I was not r6eady for what was going to happen over the next few days but I was ready for a change in my life and this conference gave me more than that. After finding my family group I instantaneously fell in love with the kindhearted peers I was surrounded by. The exercises we did, which I would be more than happy to explain to any curious minds, forced me to reflect on my life and what I wanted to do with it. Not “do with” as in the conventional sense of a career but really meaning the actions I take on day-to-day bases.

One of my bigger realizations was the meaning of diversity. Originally, because of the sheltered environment that I am a part of, my definition of diversity was anything other than straight and white. The error in this definition was vast. Those characteristics are part of diversity just as many things that I had not thought of to include in my definition of diversity were. The definition I have is now based around the idea that all diversity can be found in eight different groups; socio economic status, family structure, age, race, religion, ability, sexual orientation, and gender. This list of terms is most of, if not all, identifiers. There is an incredible amount of diversity between people considering all the mix and matching scenarios one person can be.

Backtracking to my family (meaning the group of 65 students of which I was a part) I found relief and inspiration within that group of likeminded peers. So many ideas and opinions being thrown into a room has never worked so well. My family was funny, intellectual, clever, and very lovable. These people treated me with compassion and love like I had known them all my life. Connection was instant and unavoidable. After sharing a very personal story, which, I had never shared before, I started to cry. This is uncommon emotional reaction for me. The instant affection I received from everyone in the room was both comforting and empowering.

Another incredible speaker and friend, Rodney, was the most moving man and speaker I have ever met. His approach to children and unfathomable intellect and wisdom brought Plato’s uncapturable light back into the cave for me. The feelings he could make others and me feel were astonishing and completely indescribable. His words will never leave my mind, of that I am sure.

In conclusion I do ask something of my audience, whoever you may be. I need you to understand something. Something that I believe to be the essence of diverse people and their ability to take on the maturity which it takes to accept and support difference. This idea is something that I myself still struggle with but will hopefully grasp by the end of my time here. It is an idea so vital and so pure in its nature that it is arguably the key to co-existing with different peoples. The idea that I speak of is namely true understanding. This is a word, which I believe, through its excessive use, has lost its real value. To fully understand something is not to simply grasp onto a concept but to look at it from every angle, with every perspective, and draw from that every conclusion. A “true understanding” of anything is absolute and unquestionable. However, being the creatures that we are, I would be ignorant to think that others feelings are understandable. Feelings are not tangible or replicable, they are not submissive or authoritative, they are not positive or negative, and they are what make us human. For example, true inspiration is defined as “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something.” The origin of this emotion is untraceable and possibly compelling but in it of itself nothing. Value is only added to emotion with understanding. This idea may not make sense and you may not get it. But if you do understand my message I ask that you with every person you meet, with every conversation you have, and with every action or inaction you take that you strive for true understanding. Parting with these people was challenging but this experience is one I feel everyone should have an opportunity to take for their own collection of memories. I am forever changed, and I am confident that it is for the better.

Well, we were going to blog regularly through the conference. However, the internet in our hotel is terrible. So I am currently sitting in a Starbucks since it’s the only place around with internet access. Ah, technology – how it hobbles us at times.

The People of Color Conference has been amazing thus far. To catch you up on what I’ve been up to:

We saw a fantastic opening keynote speaker; Wes Moore, an African-American independent school graduate, Army veteran, Rhodes Scholar, and investment banker, who wrote the book The Other Wes Moore. From his website: “Two kids with the same name, liv­ing in the same city. One grew up to be a Rhodes Scholar, dec­o­rated com­bat vet­eran, White House Fel­low, and busi­ness leader. The other is serv­ing a life sen­tence in prison for felony mur­der. Here is the story of two boys and the jour­ney of a generation. In Decem­ber 2000, the Bal­ti­more Sun ran a small piece about Wes Moore, a local stu­dent who had just received a Rhodes Schol­ar­ship. The same paper also ran a series of arti­cles about four young men who had allegedly killed a police offi­cer in a spec­tac­u­larly botched armed rob­bery. The police were still hunt­ing for two of the sus­pects who had gone on the lam, a pair of broth­ers. One was named Wes Moore.” The author went on to tell us how he connected and has maintained a relationship with the “other Wes Moore” and expands from there on the profound implications of mentorship, second chances, and the strength of communities. Mr. Moore was a funny and moving speaker who inspired us all to start our work. I’m hoping to bring him to our school in the future. He lives in New York, so… we’ll see!

That morning, I attended a fantastic workshop run by the Diversity Coordinators at Sidwell Friends on leading faculty discussions on socio-economics. It could not have been more perfect timing for the work we’re currently doing at the Upper School with our diversity theme this year. And the workshop was packed! There are a LOT of people talking about socio-economics – in some cases, the most hidden of diversity issues.

Later in the evening, I attended the alumni reception for the Klingenstein Center for Independent School Leadership from which I graduated with a Masters of Education in 2009. It was great to catch up with old friends and inspiring to hear about all the great things my cohort members are doing in the independent school world. It was also heartening to see Maria Arellano, MKA’s Middle School Dean of Students and current Kling student, connecting with her cohort-mates.

Currently, I’m headed off to an affinity group discussion, then lunch, then another afternoon of workshops. The students at the Student Diversity Leadership Conference are all doing well. We met for breakfast this morning and discussed the challenges and inspirations they’ve had thus far in the program. They’re in good spirits and working hard, despite the lack of sleep and internet access!

More to come!